entanglement of all sorts

When I celebrated my birthday at JDSC, the teachers sang Happy Birthday and asked me to make a wish before I blow the candle. Without thinking about it, I immediately answered, "Kontento na ako sa buhay ko. Wala na akong wish." I said that with a satistied smile. Everyone looked at me as if I were a bizarre creature, completely out of place. Was not supposed to be there, with them.

Almost everyone who greeted me had this line in their greeting (or something like this): I know that you’re happy with your life right now, I hope it will stay that way for a REALLY long time.

I realized, "Oo nga no? Masaya ako sa buhay ko at wala akong masiyadong prinoproblema." A loving and supportive family. A good relationship with CJ. True friends. A fulfilling work. A malapit-ng-matapos-na-pag-aaral. What more could I ask for?

I am really blessed. Thank you for the greetings, the wishes, the gifts, the surprises, the birthday songs and your presence. All of you made my birthday special. Love you, muah!

     Babala: Mahaba haba ito. Kung tamad, lagpasan at huwag nang pag tuunan ng pansin.

Natutunan kong

1) If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Gagawin
at gagawin mo lahat para sa isang bagay. Kung kailangang igapang,
gagapangin mo. Kung kailangang magdugo ang ilong, paduduguin mo. Basta
maabot lang ang nag iisang goal–magsurvive sa bahay ni kuya (UP). Dito
ko narinig ang mga salitang, "Kaya iyan. May paraan. Tanungin natin si
ganito o kaya si ganiyan.." "Sinong mataas magbigay ng grades?" "Eh
iyong madaling pakiusapan na prof?" Lahat ng resourceful and creative
juices mo, maeextract. Pati PR mo maeenhanced. Sa larangan ng pag-ibig
naman, dito ko narinig ang advice na, "Grab him or leave him!" at ang
tanong ko, "Grab him? Paano?" at ang sagot, "Eh di sa baba!" Comedy!

2) Patience is a virtue.
Dito
ko naranasan ang pila papuntang impiyerno o langit. Pipila ka lang
naman ng pagkahaba haba. Mga ilang milyong taon ka nakapila. Nakilala
at nakadaldal mo na lahat o hindi kaya’y naiisip mo na lahat ng
problema ng mundo, hindi pa abot sa dulo. Hindi mo malaman kung patungo
sa impiyerno (biglang magsasara kapag ikaw na ang susunod at babalik ka
na lang kinabukasan) o langit (tapos na ang misyon mo).

3) Cursing is the way to relieve stress.
Unang
pasok ko, lahat yata ng naririnig ko, "Putang Ina!" na nag-evolve sa
"PI!" "Pucha" at ngayon "Potah!". Mayroon pang, "Shit" na nag-evolve sa
"Siyet" "Sheesh!" "Siyete!" at ngayon "Tae!" Marami pang mura eh. Kapag
bumagsak ka, murahin mo lang ng murahin ang prof. Isunod mo ang subject
na walang kamalay malay. Tapos kung ano at sino pa na maisip mong may
kasalanan, huwag lang sarili mo.

4) Laughing is the best medicine.
May
nadulas, tawa tawa. May natapilok, tawa tawa. May joke o punchline,
tawa tawa. May bumagsak sa exam, tawa tawa. May bumagsak sa subject,
tawa tawa. May prof na nagkasakit at umabsent, tawa tawa. May
napagalitan, tawa tawa. Itawa mo lang lahat. Hindi mo naman ikakabaliw.
Ikakaalis lang ng napipintong kabaliwan.

5) Budget your time wisely.
Kung
halimaw ka, dapat lahat ng requirements gawin na lahat para matapos na,
tsaka maglamyerda at magpakasaya. Kung ordinaryong estudyante ka,
petiks lang. Chillax. Yosi, inom. Chikahan. Chibogan. Bugbugan. Kahit
anong may an. Tapos mga ilang oras bago ang pasahan, sige mapupudpod
ang keyboard sa bilis ng pagtatayp mo. Mapupunit ang aklat sa bilis ng
paglipat mo ng pahina. Mababasura ang mga readings sa galit mo dahil
hindi mo na maipasok sa kukote mo. Iyan ang tinatawag nating cramming. Hobby ng isang ordinaryong estudyante.

6) No guts, no glory.
Kapalan
ng mukha, tsong! "Hoy, pagawa naman ito oh." "Ma’am, (sabay pa-cute
kung lalake ka at single ang prof) nakalimutan ko po iyong paper ko eh.
Pwedeng bukas ko na lang ipasa? Sige na ma’am.." Dito mo maririnig ang,
"Nagbasa ka ba?" "Hindi po sir." "Get out!" Pwede ka namang
magsinungaling. Madali lang naman ang pinabasa. May dagdag pa. "Hi Sir!
(sabay papungay ng mga mata kung babae ka kahit pangit ang prof) Ano
pong lalabas sa exam bukas?" Nagtetext ka sa mismong harapan ng prof
pero nakatingin ka sa kanya. Paano bang hindi eh memorize mo na keypad
sa daming beses mo ng ginawa iyon. May comment pang ganito, "Sir,
nakabukas zipper niyo." Habang nagtuturo ang prof. May estudyante pang
tulog na tulog. Iyong tipong ilang beses na yatang nauntog ang ulo sa
arm chair. Biglang tinawag ng prof. Nakasagot naman. Matalinong
antuking bata. May isa pang estudyanteng, every 10 minutes lumalabas
para mag CR. Siguro, bored. Sinabihan tuloy ng prof, "Control the demon
inside!" Hahaha! Marami rami pa eh. Nakalimutan ko na iyong mga
kakapalan ng mukha. Sabihan niyo ako kung mayroon kayong naisip.
Idagdag natin.

7) Perseverance pays off.
Dapat
ilang beses mong kulitin iyong prof na ienlist ka sa kaniyang klase.
Iyong hindi mo na siya linulubayan kahit saan siya pumunta. Isabay mo
pa ang nakakarinding, "Sige na sir.." o "Sige na maam.." Paulit ulit
dapat. Parang sirang plaka. At magnobena ka ng mahaba habang rason kung
bakit ka kailangang ienlist. Kung kaya mo pa, umiyak ka sa harapan
niya. Iyong maluha luha na. Kulang na lang punitin mo damit mo sa
desperasyon. At pagkatapos, kadalasan, makukulitan ang prof. Tanggap ka
na tsong! Congrats! You’re a good actor/actress! Pwede ka na ring mag enlist sa theater subject!

Walking is not just a PE subject, it is a must.
Kung
late ka dinismiss ng prof mo at malayo layo pa ang susunod mong
building at may exam ka pa doon. Huwag mag atubili. Huwag maghintay ng
ikot o toki. Lakad na. Mabilisang lakad. Iyong tipong walking na PE.
May hinahabol kang oras sa paglakad ng ilang kilometro. Hayaan ang
tumutulong pawis. Kahit na lumilipad ang buhok at mukha ka ng aswang,
ayos lang. Ang importante, makarating ka sa classroom niyo at makakuha
ng exam.

9) All-nighter is the best policy.
Matututunan
mong magpuyat o magdamag na nakatunganga sa mga letra at/o numerong
hindi mo rin masasaulo o maiintindihan. Gising ka buong gabi. Nocturnal
na nocturnal ang dating. Matatapos mo naman ang mga papel at pag-aaral.
Pero maglalakad kang zombie. Dilat na dilat ang nangingitim mo ng mga
mata. Sabog ang buhok. Bangag na istura. At puro, "ano?" at "ha?" ka sa
mga tao. Hindi bale, napasa mo naman ang papel mo at nakakuha ka naman
ng pagsusulit. Ayos na iyon.

Pero,
seryoso, dito ko natutunan kung paano tumayo sa sariling paa at
manindigan sa pinaniniwalaan. Hindi ako tinuruan ng UP na maging
agresibo at rebelde. Tinuruan niya lang akong maging kritikal sa lahat
lahat ng aking nakikita, naririnig, nararamdaman at nababalitaan.
Tinuruan niya akong mag analisa ng malaliman at gumawa ng sariling
opinyon hinggil sa isang bagay.

Dito
ko natutunan ang pagmamahal. Pagmamahal sa bansa. Pagmamahal sa puntong
kaya mong ibuwis ang buhay mo para dito. Pagmamahal sa pamilya. Respeto
sa magulang at lubusang pag intindi sa mga ito. Tiyaga sa mga kapatid
at pakikibagay. Pagmamahal sa mga kaibigan. Kaibigang kasama mo sa
putang ina, sa leche, sa tae, sa saya, sa tawa, sa iyak, sa kasawian,
sa galit… hanggang makakaya. Pagmamahal sa kapwa estudyante. Mga
estudyanteng walang pera ngunit pinipilit makapagtapos sa pag aaral.
May nakilala ako noong first year ako. Linalakad niya ang Mindanao Ave
hanggang UP makapasok lang siya. Pagmamahal sa ginagawa, sa mga bagay,
hayop, halaman. Oops, seryoso pala. Dito ako natutong magmahal na
walang nakakabit na pantasya at kung anumang romantikong nosyon.Dito
ako nagmahal ng walang hinihinging kapalit. Dito ako nagmahal ng
lubusan. Pagmamahal na hindi kailanman nasuklian.

Dito
ko natutunan ang pagdala sa sariling problema at ang puno ng pag-asang
tingin sa hinaharap. Kung may problema ka, harapin ito. Huwag
talikuran, iwasan o isantabi kasi problema pa rin siya kung ganoon.
Huwag ding tadyakan at sisihin ang sariling nakalugmok na sa putik.
Dapat itayo ang sarili, harapin ang problema, gawan ng paraan at itawa
pagkatapos.

Dito
ko natutunan ang pagbibigay. Pagbibigay saya, pagbibigay pagkain,
pagbibigay payo, pagbibigay pera, pagbibigay pagmamahal… Pagbabahagi ng
kung anong mayroon ka at wala siya.

Dito
ko natutunan na hindi lahat ay kaibigan ko. Na may mga taong dapat
pagkatiwalaan at hindi pagkatiwalaan. Na may mga taong gagamitin ka at
mga taong handang magpagamit sa’yo. Pero dito ko rin natutunan kung
paano magpatawad. Magpatawad kahit gaano kasama ang nagawa sa’yo.
Magpatawad kahit linapastangan ang pagkatao mo.

Dito
ko natutunang tignan at pahalagahan ang kagandahan ng loob ng sinumang
tao. Hindi ibig sabihin na iba siya sa’yo, sa pinaniniwalaan mo, eh
mali na siya. May depekto, may problema. Iba’t iba talaga ang mga tao
pero iisa lang ang kailangan–respeto. Respeto sa kung anumang
sasabihin, papaniwalaan at ipaglalaban.

Dito
ko natutunan ang salitang kasiyahan. Pagkatapos ng problema, magsaya.
Pagkatapos ng kasawian, tumawa. Pagkatapos ng kalungkutan, ngumiti.

Dito
ko natutunang magtimpi ng galit. Irespeto at huwag sigawan ang tao at
murahin dahil sa matinding galit. Ang mabuting paraan ay tumahimik at
kausapin ang sarili. Ayusin ito.

Dito ko natutunan kung paano magtiyaga. Magtiyaga. Alam niyo na iyon.

Dito
ko natutunang maging bata ulit. Tumakbo at sumayaw sa ulan. Humiyaw
habang nakasakay sa kotse. Tumawa ng malakas na malakas. Kumanta ng
makulay ang buhay. Ngumiti ng pagkalaki laki. Matuwa sa kendi at
tsokolate. Magparty sa McDo kasama ang mga mascot. Magpuppet show.
Makipag agawan ng mapagtripan at tumawa pagkatapos. Sulatan ang kamay
ng katabi at magkunwaring nakikinig sa prof. Itago ang gamit ng kaklase
at hayaang mabaliw at maiyak siya ng isang oras bago umamin. Pilya.
Loka loka. Hahaha!

Dito
ko natutunang uminom gabi-gabi at magyosi minsan. Umabsent ng isang
buwan at hindi mag exam. Takbuhan ang prof na naghahabol sa’yo makapasa
ka lang. Ngunit, dito ko rin natutunan kung paano magbago. Mag-aral ng
mabuti. Maging mabait na estudyante, anak, kapatid, kaibigan,
kasintahan… Dito ako natutong magtino ulit.

Dito
ko nakilala ang mga totoong kaibigan, mga maimpluwensiyang propesor,
mga leksyon na dadalhin ko pagtanda ko at ipapasa sa mga anak ko…
Dito ko nakilala ang aking sarili.

Salamat UP!

**Maraming
nagbago sa akin sa apat na taong iyon. Maraming marami. Magugulat na
lamang kayo kapag nagkayayaan tayong lumabas at magsasama magdamag,
ibang ibang ako ang masisilayan, mapapakinggan, at kung ano pa ninyo.
Tara! Magpakilala tayo ulit sa isa’t isa! *wink, wink*

Yesterday. Slept around two in the morning. Woke up six
thirty. Panic mode. Calm down. Went to school. One hour late. Thesis partner
called. Respondents backed out. Eyes were brimming with tears. “Stop that, MM. Do
something!” Called thesis adviser. Met up with thesis partner and two
respondents. At a lost. No venue for discussion. Respondents were not complete.
Uh-oh. “No. Do something. There’s a way.” Called some of the respondents and
used convincing power. Some agreed to come. Good. Went to CDC. Talked to kuya
guard, kuya Marlon and Mang Joe. Allowed to stay there and use the electric
outlet. Good. Moderated focus group discussion. Great. Respondents were
responsive. End. No snack for respondents. “Eat outside.” Went to Sweet
Inspiration and treat respondents. Done. Went to Jollibee and bought snacks for
the second group. Went to CDC. Two respondents who were supposed to be there
were absent. The other respondent waited for one hour. Chatted with her. Time
check: 12:15. Respondents were complete. Moderated focus group discussion. Some
of the respondents had a hard time expressing verbally their thoughts and
feelings. Probe. More probe. No change. Gave out cue answers and asked for word
precision. It worked. Great. End. Male group. Waited for one respondent who was
45 minutes late. Time check: 1:45. Moderated focus group discussion. Lower back
and lower abdomen’s painful. Continued to moderate. Smiled to cover up the pain
and tried so hard to concentrate on what the respondents were saying. Males were
verbally expressive. Very detailed explanation. Great! End. Ordered snacks. Pizza
hut. Mang Joe told us to transfer to Alon. Fogging in CDC. Went to Alon. Chatted
with some of the male respondents about other things. Last group arrived.
Started focus group discussion. Kuya guard told us to transfer at CHEAc. Problem:
no electricity. Uh-oh. Pizza hut delivery. Snacks. Talked with male respondents
about other things. Decided with thesis partner: where? Respondent volunteered
to buy batteries. Can’t say no. Wasn’t feeling well. He rode Ikot going there
and ran all the way from SC to our place. He was sweating when he arrived.
Uh-oh: CDC is already available. Transferred to CDC. Moderated focus group
discussion. Pain level elevated. Tried so hard to control face expression and
concentrated on what the respondent was saying. Time check: seven o’clock in
the evening. First male group stayed and waited for the second male group to finish. End
of focus group discussion. Two male groups stayed. They asked me about girls
and about the study. They even suggested some things. They consulted me about
things. We spent one hour discussing things, making them understand girls and explaining
some ironies. Went home together. One male respondent talked to me. “I thought
it was just a focus group discussion. I never thought that I would learn a lot
from it, my co-respondents and from our discussion after. Now, I know that I am not
alone. May mga kasama pala ako na ganito. Magaling. Magaling. Congrats! Salamat!” Was
very tired and sick. Wanted to go home immediately, shower and sleep. But when I heard
that, wow! This is fulfillment. Went home. Dinner. Take meds. Showered. Slept for twelve
hours. Ain’t that glorious?

WISH LIST

Atar

• book (kahit second hand)
• pabango (Zenzest – Martini oil based)

Alejandre

• USB na cute iyong style (kahit secondhand na.. hehe.. basta nice)
• A nice top/blouse that would always remind me of you
• Children’s book- Xilef, Yellow paperclip with purple spots, Papel de liha, The moon is my friend (I love the first and the last book on the list)
• Or anything that would describe me for you

Badua

• Cellphone load.
• Cash
• MiniDVD for camcorder
• Ferrero rocher
• Godiva black chocolate
• M & M’s plain/peanut
• Neck-strap for camcorder (iyong parang tag pang-ID)
• Rabbit (boy and girl) –huwag na cage, mayroon na ako!

Balderrama

• shrek 1, 2 & 3
• briefs na pambatang lalaki (bench)
• spongebob boy briefs

Belisario

• Old movie: Big Business (Bette Midler)
• Ernest Scared Stupid
• Pirated na hiphop abs

Belderol and Dales

• Kahit ano basta may nice sweet note.

Diaz

• Baby pink pillow with microbeads.

Gatbonton

• Headset for Sony Ericson K310i (sa greenhills lang) J
• Chocolate (1 pack Hershey’s Almonds)
• Cheetos (cheese) and Lays (sour cream)

La’o

• Cash
• SM gift certificate
• Rabbit
• Piglet (biik na tunay) pink!

Manlantao

• Dream catcher ni Stephen king (paperback copy)
• Pink/yellow piggy bank
• Girly top na di sleeveless.
• Flipflops—any color size 7.

Oropilla

• open toe wedge from liliw laguna, the one that’s made out of abaca.
• blanket na makapal na tinitinda sa mga tiangge at palengke, yung may mga cartoon characters (tiger design)
• hp ink from cdr-king (yellow, magenta and cyan)
• isang box ng fitrum
• Nivea Strawberry lipbalm + one month text unlimited ng sun (dagdagan ko na lang iyong mone! yay!
• Gift certificate sa National Bookstore/SM/Powerbook (200)

Salonga

• Something I won’t buy for myself (hehe)
• Basta HUWAG pagkain
• Useful

Santiago

• White big bag (divi).
• Umbrellang matibay
• Cetaphil facial cleanser

Susara

• UP Centennial Planner

Tan

• gift certificate to powerbooks, national bookstore, toy store or a music place
• coupons to a dinner
• lentils
• healthy beans from healthy options

Taverner

• Planner, organizer. Should be hardbound and big. (ayaw ko ng starbucks planner, please lang.)
• Small notebook (no lines). Pages should be recycled papers.
• Funny book.
• “Sarong” pants (blue or yellow).
• Big bag.
• Doll shoes (size 6 ½ or 7).

Amount: 150-up.
When: December 14, 2007
***Para kay Ally at sa nakabunot kay Ally, please bring your gifts before FLCD 188. Thanks, muwah!

Any experience brings about thoughts. Thoughts that will
form realizations. Realizations that will materialize through actions. Today,
another experience has passed. Thoughts were formed in mind. Realizations were created. Resolutions were noted.

I can say
that staying at Philippine Children’s Medical Center (PCMC) is another field
work just like staying at the oncology and pediatric ward of East Avenue
Medical Center (EAMC). It can be another fieldwork that gives me the same set of
lessons. However, for every experience, there are always unique realizations.
Unique lessons. The PCMC experience provided me these. It made me realized
various things that made me formulate four steps on how to empower families.

First, I
should develop rapport with the family. Establishing warmth is very important
especially when dealing with the family’s inner self. This was realized when my
partner and I encountered a parent who was very well-guarded. We couldn’t get
through him. He had a lot of questions thrown at us. He looked apprehensive, as
if talking to us could lead to something bad. This experience made me rewind it
in mind a lot of times ‘til I saw what was wrong. My partner and I didn’t
establish warmth.

Second, I
should recognize the strengths and vulnerabilities of the family. After
fulfilling the first step, I am now free to look inside the family. To see
their stars and dust. To notice their strengths and vulnerabilities. This is
where the speaker during our class comes in. He told us that we must start with
what the family has. I take it that the phrase, “family has”, doesn’t just
refer to the family’s resources but also its capabilities and skills.
With this knowledge, I can go on reinforcing their strengths and helping them
work on their vulnerabilities by applying the theories I learned in my various
major subjects.

Third, I
should know the priorities and goals of the family. Here comes the question,
“Anong mga pangarap at pangamba po ninyo?” Following the second step, it is
very important to ask the family what specifically they want for themselves,
where they’re headed to and what are their perceived hindrances. As a FLCD
student, I believe that a family is independent enough to decide for itself.
That is why it is very vital to ask them about it.

Fourth, I
should strengthen the family. Knowing their strengths, vulnerabilities,
aspirations and fears, I should give them hope. I should tell them that they
can do something about their experience. A parent that my partner and I talked
to sighed with resignation. With helplessness. “Wala na tayong magagawa eh.
Ganyan na talaga iyan.” People who are depressed or experiencing extreme
difficulty tend to be helpless and I realized that what they need is hope. For
me to say that they are well-equipped to alleviate the effects of what they’re
going through.

These four
steps are the fruit of my thoughts that became realizations. And topping it
all, I realized that as a FLCD 147 student, I wasn’t there in PCMC to give the
families a list of what they should do, where they should go and how to
accomplish them. I was not there to throw a list of to-do things and make them
follow it. I was there to give them hope. To empower them.

Got this from an email. It doesn’t state who wrote it. Anyway, enjoy reading the hardcore truth.

1. MR. THUG LIFE

Advantages
a. Real good at making love
b. Fun and exciting
c. Makes you laugh
d. Has your back, will fight and protect you

Disadvantages
a. Usually drinks and smokes too much
b. Always got drama
c. Stays a thug forever
d. In and out of jail

2. MR. NAW, I DON`T HAVE A GIRL

Advantages
a. Will take you out in the beginning
b. Will introduce you to all his friends
c. Compliments you all the time

Disadvantages
a. Has a girlfriend who he`s been with since the 2nd grade
b. Will not get rid of her
c. He tells you about her after you`ve fallen in love with his*bleep*

3. MR. BIG BALLA

Advantages
a. Will give you money with no questions asked
b. Has alot of style to him
c. Will show you some of the nice things in life

Disadvantages
a. Never returns your pages
b. Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
c. Loves to be around his boys more than you.

4. MR. I`M IN THE INDUSTRY

Advantages
a. Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the jumpin parties
b. Can have a decent stimulating conversation
c. Tends to dress nice

Disadvantages
a. You don`t know if he`s gay, straight or bi
b. Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
c. You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin parties, then there`s drama at the door
d. All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn`t know any of them personally

5. MR. INTELLECTUAL

Advantages
a. Book smart
b. Cares about how you feel
c. Has a very good job

Disadvantages
a. Boring as hell
b. Doesn`t know what the hell he`s doin in bed
c. He is not street smart
d. Always asking you when can he see you again

6. MR. GHETTO

Advantages
a. THE BOMB IN BED!!!!!
b. Makes you laugh
c. Got mad style and flava
d. Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
e. Says he want a real relationship

Disadvantages
a. He got 3 or more baby mommy`s
b. Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up all the food
c. Is in denial when you tell him about himself
d. Comes home at 3:00 am and says he was out with his boys

7. MR. I`M A RIGHTEOUS BLACK MAN

Advantages
a. Will teach you about black history
b. Revolutionary
c. Inspiring & gives to you spiritually &emotionally
d. Wants a wife and family

Disadvantages
a. Breaks up with you for a white girl
b. Mo money-doesn`t have a job
c.Doesn`t own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage and sweats
d. In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con motha*bleep*

8. MR. TOO DAMN GOOD

Advantages
a. Will introduce you to his mother
b. Has a job and will take you out
c. Will give you money for your bills if you need it
d. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday

Disadvantages
a. Sometimes he goes or church on Sunday
b. Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
c. Wears fake Movado &Rolex watches when he goes to the club
d. Ignores you when the game is on because he takes sports too serious-He didn`t make it professionally
e.You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you

9. MR. PLAYA

Advantages
a. Will tell you the truth - that you`re not the only one
b. Sometimes he`s fairly decent in bed
c. He tells you that you`ve changed him and he`s ready to settle down
d. Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)

Disadvantages
a. He doesn`t acknowledge you in public, especially if there`s women around
b. Generally he is a punk (won`t stand up for anything)
c. He expects you to believe all his lies just because he told you the truth about other women
d. After you catch his lyin` *bleep*, he tells you that he told you that he was a playa in the beginning anyway

10. MR. I HAVE A JOB

Advantages
a. Of course…. he has a job
b. Doesn`t have too many bad habits
c. Will take care of you when you`re sick
d. Tells you that he is in love with you

Disadvantages
a. You stay in the relationship 2 years or more and then find out he`s
a shiftless, lazy son-of-a-*bleep* who wants you to do all the wifely
duties but won`t give you a ring.
b. He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not "in love" with you
c. After he leaves you he gets married a month later

11. MR. BEST FRIEND

Advantages
a. He`s your best friend, you tell each other everything; you get along very, very well
b. He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
c. The ultimate gentleman
d. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor

Disadvantages
a. You end up hooking up with him only to find he ain`t about *bleep* either!
b. Now, you gotta find a new best friend because you can`t stand his *bleep*no more

12. MR. RIGHT

Advantages
a. He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
b. He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you there mentally and emotionally
c. He will love you even when you are not lovable
d. He has a career and not a job!
e. He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
f. He understands a relationship is built on a 200% quota - 100% him and 100% you
g. He doesn`t have a bunch of kids and babies mommas - he`s smarter than that.
h. He is a true best friend and everything you ever wanted in a man
i. He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime you see he`s fine as hell!
j. He can dress - knows the difference b/t formal, semi-formal,
professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just chilling
let me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat
h. He loves his mother and respects women

Disadvantages
a. You`ve never met him and if you did he already has a girl/wife.

I’ve
met numbers 1-12. They’re my friends and some of their girls are my friends. But of course, I won’t talk about it. They’re my friends. They trust me with their
million stories concerning their  relationships and girlfriends. I keep the secrets of the guy and the secrets of the girl. I don’t share them to the other. I just listen and keep. That’s just my work. Oh, plus, comfort them when they feel bad. I just
hope that someday, someday, these guys will settle down after fooling around.
Settle down and respect women, that is.

Ano?
I’m still looking forward to your stories, complaints, frustrations,
escapades, sex life, etc. Over a cup of coffee and hot chocolate for
me? Updates, mga tsong!

Someone asked me to post an entry on my take in relationships. I’m not a good writer. Lots of grammatical errors. Sentiments aren’t accurately stated. I’m better off talking to persons than writing ideas. But for you, I’ll try to make something.

I’m not a cynical person. I’m not pessimistic. But I’m not overly hopeful. I’m just between always hoping that everything will turn out well and always knowing that everything will not work out no matter how hard you try.

Relationship. If there’s something that I always value, it is a relationship. Friendship, love relationship, professional relationship. Whatever relationship. It is that connection with people that had always gotten my utmost attention. It has received all my efforts and sacrifices. I don’t know but I have always, always found myself doing everything to keep ties, if not keep them so close.

I don’t have any idea what that person wanted me to write here regarding relationships. I’m not sure if I’m doing this right. Perhaps, I’ll just end this by sharing the lessons I learned that I can remember at this moment.

1) Taking care of a person is not just taking care of the person on your terms. It also entails knowing what care that person requires.

2) Open communication is the most important ingredient to keep a relationship.

3) Almost all of the persons I met told me that “sublimation**” is not good. It is not right. It is not healthy for a person. “When you’re angry, express your anger to the person.” I disagree with this idea. When we are angry, we should not talk to the person. We should spend time alone, “processing” everything. Why are we mad at that person? What may be the reason of the person in doing what we hate? Is it right for me to get mad at that person? There are a lot of questions to help us “process everything”. When we are clarified with our conflicts, we can talk to the person. Say things in a modulated voice. Express our self clearly and accurately since we already processed everything with ourselves. We should always remember to use the “I word” in talking to a person. I forgot to say that we could only talk to the person when he or she is ready to talk and listen in a peaceful manner.

4) The ability to talk effectively and listen actively is a very important requirement in applying for an entrance to a relationship.

5) We should know when to work on a relationship and when to give up working on it.

6) There is a difference between an “I miss you” and an “I love you” coming from an ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend. I have always observed this in couples getting back together. When we miss the way we were when we had a relationship with a certain person, it doesn’t necessarily follow that we STILL love that person. Longing is very much different from loving.

7) Nowadays, loving is overestimated and underestimated.

Men never change consistently for a woman throughout their entire lifetime. If they changed, they would always go back to their old selves some time in their lifetime.

9) Women cannot make a man love them if the man does not want to, even if they have sex with him.

10) In choosing a lifetime partner, look at the core of the person and his/her parent of the same sex. Not at the way you feel when you’re with that person. Not at his/her characteristics. Not at his/her physical attributes. These things change. The core of the person does not. The transmitted values from his/her parents cannot be changed. Recent studies can prove that.

I have lots to share but those are the only things that I can remember now. I’m not a relationship expert even though I have 126 EQ. That does not prove anything. I don’t give the exact advices that anyone of you need but I can always listen to you and we can always work together in processing everything. I’m always willing to learn more about relationships and to share what I know about that.

**Sublimation is the channeling of impulses or energies regarded as unacceptable toward activities regarded as more socially acceptable, often creative activities.

Reawakening a lost love can be an incendiary experience, intensely passionate and dangerous to trifle with.

Think hard before doing it.

Susulatan kita kasi alam ko na ikaw lang ang makakaintindi sa akin. Natatandaan mo iyong pagpapahinto ko sa’yong gumawa noon kasi sinisira ka niya? Ginawa ko kanina lang. Wala naman. Buo pa naman ako. Walang masamang epekto. Hindi din ako nasira. Ako pa rin naman ito.

Pero nararamdaman ko iyong binabanggit mo. Nararamdaman ko ngayon iyong naramdaman mo. Gusto kong sabihing galit ako pero hindi ko maapuhap ang galit sa loob. Wala ni katiting. Wala akong mapagkukuhanan ng lakas na lumaban sa kanila. Doon siguro tayo nagkaiba. Gusto mong lumaban, maghiganti. Gusto kung lumayo, humiwalay.

Pero alam mo, alam ko. Alam ko na kung gaano kasakit. Kulang itong salitang ito eh. Para bang pinaghalo ang sakit, lungkot, at kabiguan. Parang hindi mo mailarawan. Hindi mo masabi dahil magkukulang ito. Magkukulang.

Ngayon, naiintindihan na kita ng lubusan. Alam na alam ko na. Alam ko na kung bakit ayaw mo nang gawin iyon sa hinaharap. Naiintindihan ko.

**Bumalik sa isip ko iyong pag uusap natin kanina. Hindi ko talaga alam kung paano ko sasabihin iyong mga sinabi ko sa’yo kanina. Para kasing ang isang salita eh kaya kang pabangisin o kaya nama’y pahinain. Hindi ko mawari kanina kung paano magsisimula. Pero nagawa ko. Nakapag-usap tayo. Sa dami ng ating pag-uusap, doon ako nag-isip ng malalim na malalim. Napaisip ako. Napagtanto ko, parehas tayo. Parehas na parehas.