entanglement of all sorts

Heto na
naman ako eh. Pagkatapos kung mamalagi sa pediatric oncology ward ng East
Avenue Medical Center, nasa Pediatric ICU naman ako ng Philippine Children’s
Medical Center ngayon. Pagkatapos kung pigilin ang aking sariling mapaluha sa
mga magulang na kakikitaan mo ng kagustuhang mabuhay ang anak na may cancer
(ang pinakabata ay pitong buwan lang) at sa mga batang pilit nagsasaya kahit
alam na malapit na silang mamatay, nasa PCMC naman ako ngayon para matunghayan
ang magulang na pilit pinapalakas ang loob at nagpapakahirap maghanap ng
pagbayad sa hospital at ang batang payapang natutulog na hindi natin sigurado
kung magigising pa.

Ikalawang
pagpunta ko kahapon at sobrang bigat sa loob. Gusto mong umiyak. Gusto mong
makisama sa kanilang paghihirap. Pero hindi pwede. Nandoon ka para magbigay
lakas. Nandoon ka para makinig sa kanilang hinaing. Nandoon ka para gabayan
sila at dagdagan ang nalalaman nila tungkol sa sakit ng anak. Nandoon ka para
bigyan sila ng pag-asa at turuan silang tignan ang mundo nang may positibong
pag-iisip. Nandoon ka para pagaanin ang dinadala nila. Nandoon ka hindi para
umiyak, ngunit para ngumiti at magbigay saya kahit papaano. Nandoon ka para
gamutin ang kanilang kaluluwa.

Ngayon, napagtanto
ko na habang ginagamot ang katawan, dapat ginagamot din ang kaluluwa. At
napag-isip isip ko din na mas mahirap palang gamutin ang kaluluwa kaysa
katawan. Pero kailangan. Mahalaga ito sa paggamot sa tao.

Walang magawa. Este, marami pala. Ayaw ko lang gawin. Tawa, tawa, tawa. Hmmm, ano bang ginagawa ko kanina? Ahhh, nagluluto. Tapos, may narinig ako. Umuungol. Hagulhol pala. Lalaking humahagulhol. Binuksan ko ang pintuan at pinakinggang maigi. Tama nga, lalaking humahagulhol nga. Hindi ko na tinignan kasi sigurado akong may kasamang mga barkada iyon at kayang kaya naman siguro nilang aliwin ang nasawing lalake (sa larangan man ng pag-ibig o pag-aaral). Ngayon naman, may nag-iinuman sa labas. Sila yata iyon. Hindi ko sigurado pero parang iyon nga ang boses. Hayon, may gitarang tinutugtog at humihiyaw sa pagkanta ng lab song. "Hold on. Baby hold on…" Hay naku, sawi nga! Sawi sa pag-ibig. Hahaha! Nagdadaldalan sila ngayon pero hindi ko na iniintindi. May kachat kasi ako sa YM. Nakakabagot eh. Ahm, hindi pala kung pinag-aaralan ko na ang Geology para sa pagsusulit sa Lunes. Nakakatamad eh. Hahaha! Plate Tectonics, Origin of the Universe and Solar System, etcetera, etcetera. Buong gabi at madaling araw ba naman akong nagbasa kahapon tungkol sa Human Security Act at Human Rights! Kaya ngayon, ayaw na yatang pagbigyan ng utak ko ang Geology. Hahaha! Gusto ko lang tumipa ng tumipa pero wala naman akong nais ilagay dito na makabuluhan kaya Patlang ang titulo. Isipin niyo na lang na tinitigan niyo itong blog entry na ito at wala kayong nais ilagay sa kukote niyo na nandito. Kaya ang labas niyan, natahimik kayo bigla. Patlang.

Friends,

1) DON’T SEND messages to my FRIENDSTER account. Don’t even
believe messages that were sent to you using that account.

2) I’m NOT USING my globe number, 09155628164, anymore. If
you don’t know my new number, send your message to my sister’s mobile,
09062159761. I’ll assure you that all your messages will reach me.

3) I’m NOT USING drizzle_reeze22@yahoo.com
(email address and YM account) anymore. I have a new email address and YM
account. I believe, almost all of you know them. Contact me in those. DON’T
BELIEVE the person who’s “USING my drizzle_reeze22 account ILLEGALLY”.

4) For those who know my new contact details, please DON’T SHARE
those to anybody, EVEN IF I KNOW the person who’s asking. You know why I’m
doing this, so please help me.

5) I’ve forwarded our new landline number to almost all of
you, so don’t believe that person when he/she suddenly tells you a new number.
I’ll inform you through TEXT if the contact number will change.

6) Don’t apply the scheme, “Greet my friend, MM, a happy
birthday.”, to me. DON’T BROADCAST my mobile number to your friends and our
common friends.

***Person: I don’t know him/her. All I know is that he/she’s
hacking some of my web accounts. He/she’s opening some of my messages and is replying
to some. He/she’s invading my privacy plus he/she’s creating a gap between me
and my friends. I don’t remember having an enemy because I hate fighting,
quarreling. All of you know that. I don’t know what’s wrong with this person. I
believe, he/she’s extremely mad at me to do such things. What brought this
insane madness, I don’t know. Clinically obsessed? Sick? Insecure? I don’t
know. I just hope his/her head will clear up soon.

I was about to sleep when someone called me around 11pm. That person wanted to  do a countdown to my birthday, and so we talked for two hours. You know who you are… Thank you soooooo much, muwahmuwah!

For those who texted a birthday greeting and included some touching and inspiring message [Tina Alejandre, Jayvee Alba, Marian Viado, FF Acosta, Arleen Damian, Ainna Galban, Auntie Vickie, Jenny Belisario, Kai Belderol, Lia Susara, Mar Manlantao, Rhea Oropilla, Stephy Salonga, Ian Ramos, Cheng Herrera, Tiny Borja, Daddy, Mommy, Nieva Ballesteros, Crel Casel, Mye Paragas, Erik Estrada, Jazz, Joy Cardenas, Gisella Dalde, Don Quebral, Ire Lluisma, Michael Almero, Acel Raquel, Renz Torrilos, Allan Flores, Daryll Buemio, Neil Villamor, JV Damian, Aldrin Claudio, Nicolas, Yayen Gallardo, Josh Abejero, unknown texters], thank you!

For those who left a message or comment at my various web accounts [DJ Zapata, Patrick Palos, Magic Adriatico, Ced Bernardez, Ryan Abeledo, Maui Dickson, Angelo Ferraren, Maan Venus, Isabel Benzon, Stephanie Sevilla, Cherry Tagudar, Chrisse Barbero, Mar Manlantao, Duchess Guzman, Max Gordovez, Nieva Ballesteros, Ryan Bitantes, Chelsea Tan, Melissa Seares, Neil Villamor, Nur Atar, Tin], thank you!

For those who greeted me in person [dear siblings, Anna Balderrama, Allison Gatbonton, Kai Belderol, Lia Susara, Mar Manlantao, Lian, Rhea Oropilla, Nur Atar, Charla Santiago, Joy Diaz, Monique Leonardo, Deanie Ocampo, Don Quebral], thank you!

For those who gave gifts and suprised me, you made my day! [special mention: thanks to Macoy, who remembered that I said months ago that I wanted a flat tops for my birthday  and gave me one pack.]

It was a busy day that I didn’t get to show up to lotsa people. I attended all my classes, went to mass, go to PCMC (for work), cook for dinner, and replied to those who greeted me. It was an ordinary, busy day for me. Sorry… I’ll just look forward to the celebration.

If I failed to mention your name, I’m sorry… But hey, tell me and I’ll edit this. *wink, wink*

PS: I’m not using my globe number, 09155628164, anymore but I didn’t inform a lot of people, so they’re still texting me. That’s why, I inserted it yesterday night so I can thank those who greeted me there. Thanks, thanks!

***It was so sad that Dr. Fredegusto David, my favorite professor in UP, died during my birthday. :’(

Case 1

A pre-school girl with a British accent was talking to her
classmate…
Child: Ryan, will you marry me?
Ryan: No, thank you.
After that, the child kept on sharing this to her teachers
proudly.

 
She was the little teacher for the day. While she was
sitting infront of the class…
Child: Ryan, you keep on staring at me. I think you’re
falling in love with me.

 
She was wearing a hanging shirt. Then, her teacher was
trying to pull it down…
Child: Teacher, that’s precisely the point (referring to
showing off her belly)!

 
Case 2

A child talking to her teacher…
Child: Teacher, may sipon po kayo?
Teacher: Oo.
Child: Ano pong name ng mommy niyo?
Teacher: Ana.
Child: Sabihin niyo po sa mommy niyo na bumili ng orange.
Sabihin niyo po sabi ni Janine (name of the child).

 
I can’t remember the other stories though I have a lot of them. Children
never fail to amuse me and make me laugh. I’ll add them sometime.

RULES:

Each player of this game starts off
with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about himself. People who get
tagged need to write an entry of their own 15 weird habits/things/little known
facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, the player needs to
choose 15 people to be tagged and lists their names. No tag backs.

I divided them into two groups, the acceptable weirdness and
the strange weirdness.

THE ACCEPTABLE WEIRDNESS
1) I can stay in one corner for hours (doing nothing) without getting bored.
2) I am sooooo bubbly. Suddenly, I am the most quiet person in the group.
Explanation: a) I have observed something interesting and my brain’s putting
pieces together. b) I’m listening intently. c) I have seen something strange.
d) Many more. Hahahaha!
3) This came from my Professor in Creative Writing– "Teresa (he
has always pronounced it as Tiriza), your article seemed odd. Don’t you know that
what you write reflects your personality?" I smiled shyly.
"Continue writing though.. creativity starts with something new. Who
knows, you may start a new style of writing…"
4) In connection with number 3, I love writing using the third person
perspective. I hate referring to myself as I. I guess, when I write, it’s sort of
looking at myself and the whole picture objectively. Detached. So I’ll see what’s
wrong, what’s right, etc.
5) I have weird eating and sleeping habits. When you get to live with me,
you’ll always remind me to eat and sleep on time. Hahaha! I’m sorry, I have my
own biological clock, honey. I adjust when I’m living with a group though.
6) I love walking a lot. FYI: I usually walk from UP to my dorm in Katipunan
before. I also walk alone along Katipunan at 2 or 3 am. I walk regularly for
2-3 hours at Ateneo during my second and third year in college. Lastly, I wished I could walk from Cubao to Katipunan. LOL
7) When I use a glass that isn’t mine, I drink from it with my lower lip inside the
glass. Can you imagine it?
People find it weird that I am able to express my emotions and thoughts
(usually confusion) verbally, accurately. Uh, and guys find it
overwhelming. I find it ordinary though.
9)
Fact: I rarely get mad. And when I’m mad, I’m silent. A warning would
be my voice getting softer and softer and softer and softest…

THE STRANGE WEIRDNESS
11) I have this strange feeling that I can’t describe and even name when I am
introduced to someone, who will hurt me in the future.
12) I can predict when a couple is going to end up together or not. I can’t
explain it. It just pops out of my mind and I just find myself saying that
they’re not gonna end up together. My friends got so hooked on this that they
ask me all the time. I don’t answer them because I want them to just enjoy what
they have while they have it. I researched on this. It says that there are
brains equipped to get information from the environment in a quarter of a
second and put them all together (the person not aware)… Enabling them to generate reliable
conclusions. That’s "intuition", it says.
13) I don’t want to share this here but I’m gonna give clues. There’s something
in me that only certain people can see. These people, who noticed it, told me
about it. And you know what, the persons who could see it were my closest friends
and relatives. I never had a serious fight or disagreement with them. I always
rely on "this thing". When I’m introduced with someone and he/she
sees it and tells me about it, I am certain he/she and I will be good friends.
14) I’m very much interested with dreams because I usually dream of things and
they always take place in three or so years. When I was in my third year in
high school, I dreamt that I was staying in my dorm in Katipunan (my dorm in my
third year in college). I’ve dreamt of a lot of things and they happened.
That’s why I always keep a dream journal with me. I record my dreams, try to
interpret them and see what happens.
15) "I can see dead people." -The Sixth Sense
It started when I was 3 years old but I didn’t mind it. I thought I was seeing
people who are alive. Then, when I was in my primary and secondary years, I was
experiencing strange things. A door that’s being opened. Someone pulling my
right foot while going upstairs. And a lot more. When I reached tertiary level
(college), I was hearing conversations and seeing people. I was scared. I
thought I was hallucinating, that there’s something wrong (psychologically) with
me. I researched a lot on this phenomena and thank God! I wasn’t
making up things.

**I know 10 is missing. It’s under the strange weirdness. It’s about
love but I chose not to write it here. People experience goosebumps
when I tell them about it. Others are so excited. They have this
feeling that… but it’s impossible. Impossible.

From Melissa to me. From me to Aldrin, Aivan,
Chrisse Gay, Des, Dundee, Josh, Kai, Lance, Love, Macoy, Maica, Paw,
Renier, Rhea and Ryan.

I woke up late but fortunately, I was early for my Geology
class. Whew! Anyway, on my way to UP, I rode a jeepney driven by a reckless
twenty-ish man. He hit the brakes every so often and all of the passengers
produced this jerking motion every now and then. I was used to it, so I just
held tight on the iron bar beside me. When the jeepney was somewhere along Quezon Avenue (near
PCMC), an old man sitting on my left blurted out, “Hoy, isipin mo naman ang mga
pasahero mo. Para kaming baboy sa ginagawa mo
eh.” The driver replied, “Humawak po kasi kayo.” The old man cursed and
continued lecturing the driver on the right way of driving, saying unpleasant
and “below the belt words”. The driver fell silent but the old man continued
talking for minutes. The driver, who was pissed off (I assumed), got some coins
and handed it to the old man. “Baba na lang po kayo.” The old man took it
roughly and said, “Putang ina mo!” He went out of the jeep.

>>May punto naman iyong matanda sa pagsasabi noon. Tama
siya, dapat isinaalang alang talaga ng tsuper ang kanyang mga pasahero. Pero
nasobrahan naman yata niya ang pagpapaalala sa tsuper. Sapat na ang pagsabihan
ang isang tao sa maayos na paraan. Dapat nakiusap siya. Hindi dapat siya nagbitiw
ng mga mapangkutyang salita at nagmura ng walang pakundangan. Nagulat ako na
nanggaling iyon sa matanda. Mas malala pa doon, matandang lalake. *buntong
hininga*

May isa din akong hinaing dito eh. Gusto kong idagdag ang
mga nagyoyosi na tsuper at pasahero sa loob ng jeep. Sana isipin nila iyong mga taong nakasakay. Kung
alam na nila na masama iyon sa kalusugan, sana huwag silang mandamay ng ibang tao. Tsaka kung sasabihin nila na marumi na ang
hangin na linalanghap ng tao tuwing babiyahe, sana huwag na nilang dagdagan iyon ng
nicotine. Pangarap kong pagbawalan ito at magtayo ng mga lugar kung saan doon
lang magyosi ang mga tao kahit sa Metro Manila lang. Seryoso ako. Hindi maganda eh. *buntong hininga*

Panghuli, may mga tsuper kasi na kadalasang nagtatanong kung
may bababang pasahero sa isang lugar bago pa marating iyon ng jeep. Sa
pagkakaalam ko, ginagawa nila iyon para maipwesto nila ng maayos iyong sasakyan
at maihinto sa lugar na iyon. Karamihan ng mga pasaherong nakakasabay ko ay
hindi umiimik kahit bababa sa lugar na iyon. Bigla na lamang papara kapag
alanganin na ang posisyon ng jeep sa kalye. *buntong hininga* nakakapagod din
ang trabaho ng isang tsuper. Sana pagaanin na ng mga pasahero sa simpleng pagsabi lang ng, “Mayroon po.” Kung gagawin lang talaga ng mga tao ang mga kapwa responibilidad
at tulungan ang isa’t isa, mababawasan ang problema ng mundo…

I was home around 7pm and I have to rush to the nearest PNB
to do what my mom asked me to. Low and behold, the nearest PNB was not near at
all! I walked briskly for 20 minutes going there and another 20 going back. Whew!
On my way back, there was this Victory Liner bus along a certain street
perpendicular Espana and a passenger jeep along Espana. They weren’t moving. Or
at least, I thought the bus wasn’t. That’s why I walked between them. Too late
for me to realize that the bus was moving towards the jeepney and I was trapped
between them. There was no space between them but me. I was literally squeezed
in between them. Surprisingly, I wasn’t horrified or worried. I just raised my
right hand and made that stop sign infront of the driver. He blew the bus’ horn
and stopped the bus. Suddenly, I remembered Macoy. “Kung kasama mo si MM, dapat
handa kang mamatay anytime.” Yeah, true! LOL Oh, except for guns. I run away
from them. Always. They terrify me with great intensity.

These transpo-related incidents started my week. Well, aside
from the mentally draining acads and physically draining long journey and
household chores… I’m happy though. Smile! Smile! What the world needs now is
love…. Lalalalalala…Love.