entanglement of all sorts

I just listened to The Freshman by Vervepipe and Brick by Ben Folds Five. I’ve been listening to these songs for one or two years already. I was initially drawn to these songs due to their melody. But when I started to read their lyrics, I realized that they were talking about abortion. This suddenly brings to mind a dream I had about a dear friend. He got a girl pregnant but he and the girl decided to abort it. And they did. I was scared for this friend because I have this tendency to dream of things that usually happen afterwards. I don’t want to tell him about it because he doesn’t take my dreams seriously. *sigh* I just hope he’s well now…

Song playing: Brick

Queued song: The Freshman

Scenario everyday: Wake up early to cook for siblings. Rush to the bathroom. Take a bath. Putting clothes on/fixing school stuff while eating. Toothbrush. Run to the nearest jeepney stop. Travel for more than an hour. Class. Vacant-go to the library, search for journals, read tons of case studies, write. Class. Rush to the jeepney stop. Travel for more than an hour. Cook for dinner. Take a bath. Read lotsa photocopied materials. Write. Sleep late.

Scenario the other day: "Em, malapit na birthday mo." "Onga eh. Magtwetwenty na ako. Ayooookoo pa." "Hahaha! Mararamdaman mo na rin ang weird na feeling." "Ano iyon?" "Basta, maeexperience mo din." "Sige na, ano iyon?" "Iyong feeling na hindi ka pa twenty. Parang teenager ka pa. Parang hindi mo alam kung paano mo ilulugar sarili mo." "Ah, hindi pa ba ako mukhang 20 sa mga ginagawa ko ngayon? Hahaha!" "Hindi. Nanay ka na. Hahaha." "Hay naku, good training ground period. Iyon na lang iniisip ko." "Onga pala, nakabayad ka na ng kuryente? ‘Di pa ba kayo naputulan?" "Oo. Kakadaan ko kanina. Grabe ‘tong adjustment na ito! Biglang andami kong iisipin–kuryente, laundry, internet connection, telephone bill, pag-uwi ng mga kapatid ko, meals, groceries, pag-aaral ng mga kapatid ko, report sa parents, acads, problema ng mga kaibigan. Sheeeesh!" "Good training ground." "Good training ground."

Things to do:
>Decide on the thesis topic for the thesis proposal.
  First, I wanted anything that has to do with marriage or love. Marriage-sample size would be small and married people wouldn’t divulge everything that I need for the study. Love-too abstract for a scientific study. Second, I decided to focus on adolescents or children. Adolescents-no interesting issue unless abstract like love or identity crisis. Children-adjustment to school may give inaccurate results. Third, I decided to choose mate selection and readiness for marriage.
>Look for journal articles, case studies, etc for thesis. Research. Research. Research.
>Work at Caritas Manila for two months.
>Produce a movie that presents the life of a streetchild. A creative case study.
>Create a blog site for weekly updates on my work at Caritas.
>Report on the nature of case and clinical studies.
>Report on concepts and practices of community development.
>Meet up with friends who are starting to feel bad because I fail to visit/call/text them as I usually do before.
>Meet him.
>Plus lots of papers. Papers. Papers. Papers.

Argh! I’m wearing a shirt with a "Please hug me!" on it. Oh, and please don’t ask me why I’ve become thinner than before. It upsets me. Ang tagal ko ng wish na tumaba pero hindi naman nangyayari! LOL

Sorry, busy’ng busy.. I’m trying so hard to fit a time with all of you into my sked.  One at a time na lang muna ha? Iyong iba next time. Don’t worry, nothing has changed. I still love each and everyone. Please do take care and be happy always! See you when I see you.. *hug tight*

Someone asked me to write my favorite foods, books, colors, outfits, etc. I’m super busy with my thesis but since you’re special, here’s your request. Be sure to surprise me on my birthday ha? LOL

Just brief answers to your questions…

Favorite foods:
Seafood. I love any seafood but I am most happy with grilled seafoods especially the stuffed squid. I also love kinilaw na tanguigue. Other than seafood, I’m a fan of vegetable salad or any meal that has vegetables (half-cooked) in it.

Favorite books:
I enjoy reading tear-jerking, mind-boggling and/or easy-to-read books. Fiction-I love any story that has to do with family, children, love relationships. I love reading psychology related books. Self-help or anything that talks about the brain and the mind. I also read funny and interesting books. Funny meaning full of witty statements and interesting meaning full of creative illustrations (plus cover) and a whole new style of writing. When I like to masterbate intellectually, I love reading books that say a lot about societal issues, overlooked essential interactions and the like.

Favorite colors:
When I was a child, I loved yellow. When I was in secondary school, I appreciated blue more than any other color. Now, I always choose shades of olive green, brown and yellow. Sometimes, rose and bright pink.

Favorite outfits:
I always love cotton pants. Sort of capri pants but not fitted. I go for shirts. Plain colored shirts. I don’t like printed ones. If it has prints on it, the artwork or writing should just be small. I love comfy slippers. I like light ones which are soft.

Favorite music genres:
I love listening to reggae, progressive rock, broadway musicals, disney or children’s songs and acoustic. Lately, I’m starting to appreciate acid jazz and funky jazz. Thanks to Archie!

Interests:
I enjoy COOKING. For that, I would like a cookbook. (kidding) I love EXTREME SPORTS or anything that will increase my adrenaline level. They are usually mountain climbing, orienteering, white-water rafting (haven’t tried), sky diving (haven’t tried) and a lot more. I love CHILDREN so much. Any kind of child! Oftentimes, people misunderstood me because I’m "harsh" to street children when they ask something from me. Being a Family Life and Child Development student, I have my own reasons for doing that. All the people in the department can relate. But believe me, I love any form of children. I love them so much. I love the ARTS. I try to sketch and paint in my spare time. Sometimes, I make collage or scrapbooks. I just love that moment when you’re enveloped by a silent surrounding and so engrossed in doing the artwork. I also love watching concerts and theatrical performances. They just amaze me and make me feel good. I love TALKING and LISTENING. Arguments on things. Debate. Sharing of thoughts. Reflections. Life. Society. I love LAUGHING. Not the demure kind of laugh or the normal one. I laugh aloud. Without pretensions. It feels great. It has always felt great.

Wala na akong masabi. Basta, I love creativity, passion, and love. Oh, and "homeostasis". *wink, wink*

You may think that I’m not aware that you’re reading my blog
entries but I am. I am. Now, I’ve made a blog entry for you. Please imagine
that I’m telling you this slowly, gently…

In a way, I feel responsible of what has happened to you
even though other people tell me that it was your choice. You wanted that kind
of life or I should say you chose that life. I wanted to help you but you
removed that responsibility from me. I could not do anything but to respect
your decision. I’m just here wishing that somehow you’ll suddenly surprise me
by being SOMEONE someday. Someone who’s proud of things she has done. Things
that are worth to be proud of, not things that destroy you slowly. [In fact, it
has started to…. The “truth” doesn’t reach you because you’re the one everyone’s
talking about.]

Please rise from where you fell. Don’t get stuck just
because of loving someone. Loving doesn’t destroy a person. It allows a person
to grow. Grow up. Learn from that. Move on, my friend. *hug*

My birthday is near and I started to check if I have done everything that I usually do in at least a year. Since I’m turning twenty soon, I decided to write ten of them plus ten gifts. You might be interested in doing some of them and in giving me one of the gifts. LOL

1) Attend a children’s party and participate in the kiddie activities. It feels so good to see children having fun and hear them laughing with you. The kind that says, “Nothing in the world matters but we, enjoying.”

2) Talk to an oldie (be it your parent, a relative or a stranger who happen to sit beside you). Ask him about life, his/er experiences and realizations. Listen to him intently and learn from what you’ve talked about.

3) Go to a cliff. Remember everything that made you mad, bitter and frustrated. After feeling the surge of strong energies, shout. Shout with all your might. Shout ‘til you can’t shout anymore. I’ll assure you, you’ll laugh afterwards and feel better.
4) Try a new extreme sport. Unleash the devil in you through this kind of activity rather than other more dangerous things. You know what I mean. Clean fun, dude. Clean fun.
5) Cook a special recipe for your family. Surprise them with that. It’s nice to end a stressful day with a smile in every member of the family and of course with a full stomach. Do this more often but not regularly. Otherwise, you’ll be broke. LOL
6) Keep in touch with old friends (elementary and high school classmates, or friends who are in abroad.) Don’t just email or text them. Call them or better yet visit them.

7) Get drunk just once. Haven’t done this yet for this year, but I will be doing it. Stephy, may utang ka pa. Macoy, let’s get it on!

Visit an orphanage, a depressed area or a hospital. Talk to the children, residents or the patients. Do something that will make them smile and laugh aloud. Don’t think that you’re a laughingstock. Bear in mind that you’re there to make them happy even for just a day. Bring your friends, too.

9) Dance and run under the rain with someone special or friends.

10) Reorganize your things. Reminisce every moment that a letter, a gift, a scribbled note, etc evoked. Let go of some, keep some.

11) Colorful blowpens.

12) Tour inside a place full of flowers and butterflies.

13) White water rafting at Cagayan de Oro or Kalinga.

14) Beautiful dress or blouse.

15) Chance to see and talk to a lot of special children.

16) Artwork you’ve done or just a scribbled letter (huwag typewritten).

17) A free ticket of the Avenue Q broadway musical or you might want to watch it with me pero sa’yo pa rin ang gastos. LOL

18) Nikon SLR Camera.

19) Surprise me with anything that I will never forget. *wink, wink*

20) Heartfelt greeting and a hug.