MM updates
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006*I feel so sick. I went home feeling so drained. Imagine, I had my Econ class at 10am-1pm straight! No break! Immediately after that was my Stat make-up class until 4pm. Still no break! I reached our house determined to do my Stat problem set but my head really hurts. I lied down, hoping to sleep for a while. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to sleep. I feel so hot and I even lose my appetite. I don’t want to do anything now. I feel so lethargic. Exhausted.
*UP looks so depressing. When I first saw UP after the strike of the mother nature’s fury, I felt so sad. Trees have fallen. Withered leaves were all around the ground. Army men in their camouflage uniform were cleaning because the janitors were on strike. Hahay, I miss staring at the green, sturdy trees…singing with the wind…walking through the clean, paved roads…
*I’m glad I’ve already established REAL TIES with my parents. I was able to talk to them regarding some concerns that I’ve been longing to tell them. I saw the effort–they were reaching out (like what I was doing) too. Well, it’s never too late to do anything no matter how many years have passed. Now, I can have my hands on family problems. Now, I can really join. I can really help. I am now a part of the family in every sense of it.
*Yes, feelings do change. Now, I believe that I have let go of that feeling. That it does not reside in me already. If I would be asked of the feeling that is in me now, I wouldn’t know the answer but I am so sure that it isn’t the same feeling anymore. Actually, I don’t feel anything right now (with regards to that aspect). I don’t know if this is again one of the days wherein I really need to feel this "non-feeling" as a period of rest. But feeling this overwhelming confidence for the first time makes me wonder if this "non-feeling" will stay with me forever. And maybe, there will be no turning back anymore. And yes. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to embark again on another journey–to love someone again, to give my all, and to cherish it for the given moment.
*Some of my camping buddies have set a date between I-don’t-know-who and me. They told me to just enjoy it. Neither am I excited nor disinterested. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like focusing on dates, lovelife, etc. now. But I might as well go for it. I believe my camping buddies wouldn’t lead me to a "dangerous zone", knowing that I just have walked through that last year.
*My blockmates are really excited for our first block out-of-town trip. Of course, I am too! No explanations. Bottom line: We’re happy and excited!
*I’ve already talked to my adviser and wrote a letter to the chairman of our department. I hope she’ll allow me to make 122 a co-requisite of 172 for this coming semester. That’s my best option though I know that doing that would be close to killing myself next semester. Well, break a leg for me!
That’s it for now. I’ll update you all as soon as I can.
